Dumb Crooks of the World Unite! ... and Other Strange News from Around the World

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Dumb Crooks of the World Unite! ... and Other Strange News from Around the World

Dumb Crook Redux

A few months back we told you about a waitress who was presented with her own stolen driver’s license when checking a patron’s ID. Well, it seems a waitress in Kennewick, Washington, can one up that. Virginia Maiden had reported her SUV stolen, starting off a non-typical Tuesday. She then reported to her job at McDonald’s — working the drive-through window. Noticing a McDonald’s visor in an approaching SUV — her SUV to be exact, she took the female driver’s order, told her to pull over to await delivery of the order and called 911; police arrived before the woman left and arrested her on several charges. — CBS News/Seattle, May 16, 2013

Let’s Party!

Authorities in Mount Washington, Kentucky have charged a man who had an overnight cookout in a closed ValuMarket supermarket. The store’s manager opened up to find 57 cans of whipped cream in the garbage and — when checking surveillance tapes — discovered that a man had cooked and eaten six steaks, drank beer with his meal, then topped it off with shrimp, a birthday cake and 57 cans of nitrous oxide propellant. Police arrested 30-year old Trevor Runyon for the late night feast when he was found unconscious in the store’s rafters. — NewsChannel5.com and the Associated Press

It Must Have Been the Ankles

Elham Sadat Asghari is an Iranian professional swimmer. On June 11, 2013, she attempted to break her own record for swimming as long as possible in her usual swimming gear. She managed to swim 20 kilometers in the Caspian Sea, but Iranian officials first knocked two kilometers off her swim, then decided not to recognize the attempt at all because Ms. Asghari’s figure was “visible” when she emerged from the water. Oh. She was wearing a wetsuit, full jacket and a headscarf during the attempt. — facebook.com/elhamsadat.asghari

Help Me Rhonda, Help, Help Me … etc.

Last May, during a Beach Boys concert at the Tom Hanafan River’s Edge Park in Iowa, Judy and Larry Leinson were sitting in the back row when an errant male deer jumped over a four-foot railing, smashing into Mrs. Leinson, knocking her unconscious, then fleeing into the woods. Maybe it was the Beach Boys band that doesn’t have Brian Wilson, Al Jardine, and David Marks in it. — Southwest Iowa News (nonpareilonline.com), May 31, 2013

Economic, er, Stimulation?

In April, the New York City government had an open position that paid $73,000. The job? To “encourage and support” breast feeding in the Bedford-Stuyvesant and Brownville sections of Brooklyn. Called a Breast Feeding Empowerment Zone Project, the job included home visits, consultations, and community mobilization, with a particular focus on “male involvement in breast-feeding.” Unfortunately, the job closed on April 30, 2013. — The Gothamist (gothamist.com), April 28, 2013

Mountain Lions and Coyotes, Sure … but Sharks?

In honor of Shark Week (which begins or began – depending on when you’re reading this – on August 14 this year) and the uproar and buzz over the SyFy Channel’s Sharkanado (search syfy.com/schedule/?search=sharknado for reruns of this so-bad-it’s-so-good flic), we close with the San Juan Hills Golf Club near San Juan Capistrano, California, whereat a two-foot leopard shark was found on the 12th hole (a 483 yard, par five for you white-ball chasers). The shark had a puncture wound below its fin, was rinsed in a pail of freshwater and dispatched to the Pacific Ocean off Dana Point where it swam merrily away. “There’s been nothing as bizarre as this. We’ll get the occasional mountain lion and coyote, but nothing like this,” said Director of Club Operations, Melissa McCormack. — The Orange County Register, October 24, 2012

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